Practicing the Pause

Discover how Practicing the Pause helps break self-sabotage cycles, build emotional accountability, and create lasting personal growth.

The Hidden Power of Pausing

Do you ever catch yourself reacting in a way that doesn’t serve you well, and yet you do it anyway? Maybe it’s just ‘who you are’, an old behavior, a defensive response, or even a coping mechanism that once kept you safe, but has been translated into self-sabotage.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Our past experiences shape how we react in the present, often without us realizing it. In my experience, I’ve often felt as though a phantom author was scripting my life, replaying the same narrative again and again, like a scratched record.

But here’s the good news: you don’t have to stay stuck in the loop.

Acknowledging the Cycle

What Practicing the Pause Really Means

The first step toward change is recognizing a difficult truth: you are the common denominator in all of your relationships, stories, and outcomes.

It’s easy to point outward and say, “They always do this” or “That person made me feel...” But when we position ourselves only as the victim, we give away our power. We also rob ourselves of the accountability needed for expansion and growth.

This doesn’t mean past traumas are your fault. Many of us endured experiences beyond our control, especially when we were young. What it does mean is that, as adults, we do have control over how we manage our emotions and responses moving forward, and not only that, but it is our responsibility to learn how to manage our emotions and responses. 

The Practice of Interrupting Patterns

So, how do you begin breaking old patterns in the heat of the moment, when everything is hitting the fan, emotions are high, and the familiar response feels automatic?

The answer lies in something I call Practicing the Pause.

Every fork in the road is an invitation to Practice the Pause.

A Roadmap for the Mind

How Practicing the Pause Helps Break Old Patterns

Imagine you're driving along a familiar road. You're cruising on autopilot, barely thinking about the path itself – you could do it with your eyes closed. 

Suddenly, you hit a fork in the road (This might represent a moment of adversity, an offense, or a challenge). Historically, you’ve always turned left—reacting the same way, repeating the same cycle.

But this time, you stop. You pause.

In that pause, you recognize where the left turn always leads: more of the same. And because you paused, you notice something new; an alternative - the right turn.

This road is uncertain, unpaved, and uncomfortable. It will require work, patience, and courage. But it also offers a chance for something different: healing, growth, and freedom from patterns that no longer serve you.

Choosing the Road Less Traveled

Steps to Start Practicing the Pause in Daily Life

When you choose to practice the pause, you choose to:

• Stop reacting on autopilot.

• Consider the outcomes of both choices.

• Give yourself permission to try something new, even if it feels uncomfortable.

At first, the right turn may feel daunting. There are no clear lines, no guarantees. But with each pause, each new choice, the path becomes more familiar and less intimidating.

Consistency Brings Transformation

Change won’t happen overnight.

Practicing the pause is just that—a practice. Some days you’ll get it right. Other days, you’ll find yourself defaulting back to the old left turn. And that’s okay.

The key is grace and persistence. Remember, no destination is final. You can always “reverse,” pause again, and try a new route. With time, consistency, and patience, your emotional responses will shift.

What once felt impossible will become your new normal.

Why Practicing the Pause Matters

Practicing the Pause isn’t just about behavior change—it’s about reclaiming your peace, healing old wounds, changing thought patterns, and stepping into healthier relationships with yourself and others.

It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. Each pause invites opportunity for growth. Each right turn leads you further from self-sabotage and closer to self-empowerment.

Final Thought

Practicing the Pause is for you - for your healing, your growth, and your peace. It’s about learning to sit in the discomfort of the unfamiliar long enough to make a different choice. And with every choice, you’re not just breaking patterns—you’re rewriting your story.

So, the next time you come to that familiar fork in the road, remember you have the power to pause.

Reflections:

Consider a behavior you’d like to let go of…

• Have you ever considered where this particular behavior or thought pattern originated from?

• What behavior or thought patterns are you ready to practice pausing in your life?

For deeper consideration and clarity, I’d love to partner with you!

Let’s connect to discuss how I can serve you along your journey over a Discovery Call.